Monday, July 14, 2014

dark places

Saturday was a looooong ride, in total it was 149 km.  I learned a couple things on this ride.  Full G gatorade is not my friend! Note to self: DO NOT DRINK THIS.  It will turn my stomach faster than anything else. I also learned that I am capable of pulling myself out of the dark place before it was too late.  To do this, I need to take inventory and ask myself honestly is what I'm feeling physical or just mental.  Usually, it's just mental and you can come out of the dark place and leave it out there on the road.  I also learned how important fresh scenery is and to not be afraid of trying new routes and going on adventures in cycling.

Sunday was a looooong run and I was fortunate enough to get another lesson in finding the strength to crawl out from the dark place in my mind.  I almost packed it in and quit at 15km.  It was HOT yesterday, my water was hot and my mood was dark.  I went to go back and re-read an email from my coach and that's when I called in the Calvary and messaged a couple of my Ironman friends.  They wouldn't give me permission to quit and that was what I needed to hear.  I admit I had some tears after I read one of their messages but I regained composure and kept on going.  They sent me a few more notes and I was able to dig deep, way down and find what I needed to keep pushing it.  Around the 3 hour mark I really got my wind back in my sails and was actually starting to enjoy the run.  I decided regardless of distance I was calling it at 4 hours...that was enough out there.  I ended up at the snack shack, refilled my bottles and turned back to wrap it up.

If it wasn't for their encouragement I would have called it back there at Guelph Line and then beaten myself up for quitting.  I'm so happy they will be there in Quebec as I know they will help me through on race day.    I know they probably won't see this but, I say thank you anyway ladies, there in person or even just through messenger you are a great support crew and I couldn't do this without you!

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